10 Things You Need to Know About Men

I was casually reading Redbook Magazine tonight and came across an article that cracked me up. Written by a sex columnist named Anka Radakovich, here in a nutshell, are her 10 intriguing discoveries about men. I'm paraphrasing what she says (don't want to take away her credit but you can find the true article in the Oct. 2005 mag).

(I love men, don't understand them, they drive me crazy, and I thought you'd get a kick out of this).

1. Men can't resist the tease - In other words he loves to be visually stimulated through strip teases; one thing can definitely lead to another.
2. Men are big kids and proud of it - No matter how old they get, don't they resort to childish behaviour. Cute, but childish? They like buying toys -- so they can play with them instead of handing the toys over to their children.
3. Men can't help but stare at other women - I guess this is good, if you're a woman that likes to be the center of attention. Being admired by ogling eyes is good for the ego - and yes, married men will stare you down too so don't be shocked. And they probably enjoy being stared at too -- as long as the stare doesn't say "Eww you are so gross." The article states that even male gorillas stare at female gorillas. So staring females down just comes naturally I guess. So if you catch a man staring at you, just say, "Eww you remind me of a gorilla" and watch him give you a blank look.
4. Men would love to cheat - Now I believe this one. Most men want a wife and an affair. Isn't that ideal? They would be willing to cheat more as long as they are guaranteed not to get caught. Well, who wouldn't want this? Surprisingly, some men just won't be interested even if given the perfect opportunity.
5. Men are perverts - Hmm. Pervert. Sexually freaky. Secretly unhibited. FREAKS.
6. Men want us to worship them - Okay, this is true, even if the guy screws up big time, he wants you to think he is a genius. In other words, LIE!
7. Men love oral sex - I guess men want their fairshare of the good times too, huh?
8. Men don't take hints - Now this is the one thing I know for a fact. I don't care how old the man is, what kind of degree he has, has many sisters he has, he is going to be very dumb when it comes to taking a hint. You will get very discouraged if you try to slyly suggest something to a man and expect him to get it. In other words, do yourself a favor-S P E L L it out. Otherwise you are wasting your time and he'll wonder why you have such a rotten attitude. It's maddening but reality. They just don't get it sometimes.
9. Men love their penises - Hmm, maybe this fascination starts when they're toddlers and are discovering different body parts. And I don't care how small the man is, he thinks he has it going on. Sometimes attitude and confidence make up for other shortcomings huh?
10. Men don't get Valentine's Day - most men won't get it. They underestimate the importance of a woman feeling valued through him going out of his way to buy her a card, flowers, box of candy, etc. A man thinks it's silly but a woman takes his gestures as a measure of his thoughtfulness and concern about her. I've seen so many men, with frowns on their faces, scouring the greeting card aisle every Feb. 14th - and he's probably buying a card so he won't have to hear his wife (or girlfriend, or mistresses) mouth.

http://www.redbookmag.com

I'm a Looter, Not a Finder

Okay, which news organization(s) were the first to depict black folk as looters and white folk as finders? And they say that black people are overly sensitive about race issues. I wonder why...?

I Know What It's Like to be Rescued From Water

Some things you never forget. It was a hot summer day in Michigan. A slew of family members, including uncles and cousins, decided to spend the day at the lake. I was four years old. My brother Michael was around 6, and the youngest daughter, Adrienne, was 3. From what I can recall, my parents and the rest of the kin hung out on the beach. Then my Uncle Mike suggested we all go for a boat ride. My dad was the one that stayed behind. At first being in the boat was fun. It was fast, we were moving. But then the movement stopped. My Uncle said the boat was sinking and everyone needed to stand up. I can still remember this. Four years old; one minute you're in a big boat, the next minute you're tossed into a lake. I remember going under, hearing sounds that resembled the beating of a drum, then coming up for air and screaming "Help". My eyes were closed. I was scared. I couldn't swim. But I had on an orange life preserver. It seemed we were in the water for so long, but after a while an elderly white couple rescued us. I was cold and shivering but glad to be out of the water. My mother lost her shoes, glasses and purse; maybe it sunk to the bottom of the lake. Everything was okay until Mom realized someone was missing. "Where's Adrienne?" My 3-year-old sister was the only one we couldn't find. Mom was frantic. My brother last saw her under the boat; apparently when the boat turned over, there was space enough to breath and talk. My brother was with her until he couldn't hold on any longer and he told her, "See you later."

We returned to the beach, wet and wild-looking, so funny looking that my father started laughing at us. His laughter turned to tears once Mom told him we couldn't find his daughter. I can barely remember what happened immediately after that, but at some point, my uncle and some others turned over his capsized boat and that's where they found Adrienne, unconsious but alive. She was rushed to the hospital and her stomach was pumped of the water.

Once we survived that boat accident, our family started attending the neighborhood baptist church. I never did learn to swim; the fear of the water stole that from me. And every now and then I think of that incident, and can still hear the sound of the drum beats.

The children that survived Hurricane Katrina won't ever forget their ordeal either. And even though I can't swim, and I'm not too crazy about boats, I am happy that the Lord saved me that day. And you can best believe the survivors will be happy they were saved too.

What's It Like at the Houston Astrodome

I'll be honest. Life feels very different right now. It feels different when you drive by the Houston Astrodome five days a week to go to work. And inside your mind you are well aware that they are there. The evacuees. The terrified mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers. Kids, so many kids, that fled for their lives from the effects of a hurricane that no one will soon forget. And so...your heart is torn. And you feel numb. And you want to see for yourself. And you say your prayers. And you drive down South Main and make a right turn on McNee street. You slowly drive through the gates of the great Reliant Park, the complex that houses Reliant Stadium (where the Texans play football), Reliant Arena, Reliant Center, and the now famous shelter, the Astrodome. You walk in and you shiver. It looks just like it does on CNN. Yet it doesn't. It feels more real. You smell the water. The after effects of that water that changed so many lives. You see the people. So many black folks. Some walk as if their mind is so far away. You wonder what they are thinking. You want to be friendly and smile, but you don't want to offend anyone. You see so many men. They walk with a swagger; they strut in a way that lets you know they don't want to be there. They are proud. They are strong. They don't want to believe they are displaced, away from their home, maybe disconnected from their families. You can hear it in their voices, you can see it in their eyes. They are hurt. They are mad. Breakfast is being served. Twinkies. Cold cereal. Granola bars. Donuts. Where are the grits? The sausage? I'm from Louisiana. I can't eat this stuff. You nod and laugh. You don't blame them for wanting a hot meal. But they are still thankful, polite. Some want coffee, but there's none to be had. I'm not sure why. The people try to keep up their spirits. If you ask their name, their eyes enlarge, as if they're shocked anyone would care enough to want to know them. Some don't want to talk; they look down, and mumble. But others, they give you a smile, they'll ask how it is to live in Houston. They'll make small talk, but then they move on. To where, I don't know. There are many TV monitors structured throughout the Dome. MTV, the news, all kinds of channels. Some folks are trying to sleep in a facility where the lights never go out. So you see crumpled bodies lying in cots with blankets covering their head. You see a kid now and then (on the 4th floor), but you know most of the kiddies are on the ground level. Just like on TV. You want to tell people to have a nice day, but that sounds so stupid. So meaningless. And you pray for these people. That they won't be there in the Dome for long. You pray that their families will be found. You pray that the peoples' lives will be restored. You pray that they will smile again with genuine joy. You pray this nightmare will soon be over. Because life feels so very different right now.